1 00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:50,620 Children who grow up believing in the something-for-nothing fairy tale 2 00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:56,239 are likely to become emotionally stunted, self-centered adults. 3 00:02:56,239 --> 00:03:02,029 Then, when they themselves become parents, they’re likely to overdose their children 4 00:03:02,029 --> 00:03:07,730 with material things – the piles of toys, plushies, and gadgets one finds scattered 5 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:15,999 In that way, over indulgence—a deficiency of Vitamin N—becomes an inherited disease, 6 00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:09,790 around most households. 7 00:03:20,940 --> 00:03:27,180 This also explains why children who get too much of what they want rarely take proper 8 00:03:15,999 --> 00:03:20,939 an addiction passed from one generation to the next. 9 00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:30,140 care of anything they have. 10 00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:31,220 Why should they? 11 00:03:31,220 --> 00:03:37,420 After all, experience tells them that more is always on the way. 12 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:46,980 They deserve to have parents attend to their needs for protection, affection, and direction. 13 00:03:37,420 --> 00:03:39,280 Children deserve better. 14 00:03:46,980 --> 00:03:52,760 Beyond that: They deserve to hear their parents say “no” far more often than yes 15 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,020 when it comes to their whimsical desires. 16 00:03:56,029 --> 00:04:01,019 They deserve to learn the value of constructive, creative effort as opposed to the value of 17 00:04:01,019 --> 00:04:05,529 effort expended whining, lying on the floor kicking and screaming, or playing one parent 18 00:04:05,529 --> 00:04:07,279 against the other. 19 00:04:07,279 --> 00:04:12,579 They deserve to learn that work is the only truly fulfilling way of getting anything 20 00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:19,519 of value in life, and that the harder they work, the more ultimately fulfilling the outcome. 21 00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:24,949 In the process of trying to protect children from frustration, parents have turned reality 22 00:04:24,949 --> 00:04:26,520 upside down. 23 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:32,340 A child raised in this topsy-turvy fashion may not have the skills needed to stand on 24 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:37,100 his or her own two feet when the time comes to do so. 25 00:04:43,919 --> 00:04:49,539 what they truly need, but no more than 25 percent of what they simply want. 26 00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:43,919 Here’s a simple rule: Turn your children’s world right-side up by giving them all of 27 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:53,580 I call this the “Principle of Benign Deprivation.” 28 00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:59,360 When all is said and done, the most character-building two-letter word in the English language is 29 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,420 no. 30 00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:01,800 Vitamin N. 31 00:05:01,810 --> 00:05:03,419 Dispense it frequently. 32 00:05:07,780 --> 00:05:14,220 I’m John Rosemond, author and family psychologist, for Prager University. 33 00:05:03,419 --> 00:05:07,779 You’ll be happier in the long run, and so will your child. 34 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:39,739 Since the ‘50s, and especially in the last few decades, as indulgence has become the 35 00:02:22,469 --> 00:02:27,760 This may go a long way toward explaining why the mental health of children in the 1950s 36 00:02:27,769 --> 00:02:34,020 – when kids got a lot less -- was significantly better than the mental health of today’s kids. 37 00:02:19,609 --> 00:02:22,469 a person can acquire. 38 00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:19,600 Not only is that a falsehood, it’s also one of the most dangerous, destructive attitudes 39 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,940 something can be had for next to nothing. 40 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:09,960 So in the process of inflating their material expectations, we also teach children that 41 00:01:58,580 --> 00:02:03,900 sacrificing, or doing their best, but by whining, demanding, and manipulating. 42 00:01:51,350 --> 00:01:58,580 Consider also that many, if not most, children attain this level of affluence not by working, 43 00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:51,340 that’s out of kilter with what they can ever hope to achieve as adults. 44 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:46,700 One terrible effect of this is that our children are becoming accustomed to a material standard 45 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:35,700 When the point of diminishing returns is passed (and it’s passed fairly early on), the receiving 46 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:41,360 of things begins to generate nothing but want for more things. 47 00:01:22,420 --> 00:01:29,720 Over-indulgence–a deficiency of Vitamin N—leads to its own form of addiction. 48 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:22,420 What he needed was a healthy and steady dose of Vitamin N. 49 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:17,600 His son, I told him, was suffering the predictable ill effects of being over-indulged. 50 00:01:09,260 --> 00:01:11,680 Did he need therapy? 51 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,260 Was his son depressed, Bill wanted to know? 52 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:06,200 let alone gratitude, for all the things Bill and his wife were giving him. 53 00:00:56,380 --> 00:01:01,800 In addition, he was very demanding and rarely if ever expressed any appreciation, 54 00:00:52,710 --> 00:00:56,380 He was also having problems getting along with other children. 55 00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:52,710 Instead he was petulant, moody, and often sullen. 56 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:49,020 But he wasn’t. 57 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:47,920 Like most parents, Bill wanted more than anything for his son to be happy. 58 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:43,200 boy asked for. 59 00:00:18,090 --> 00:00:21,930 I call it Vitamin N. The word “No.” 60 00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:41,480 A father, I’ll call him Bill, gave his son, age five, pretty much everything the little 61 00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:35,820 Let me illustrate my point with a story that’s quite typical. 62 00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:27,150 More and more children, I find, are suffering from Vitamin N deficiency. 63 00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:32,450 And they, their parents, and our entire culture are paying the price. 64 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:18,080 And only you, a parent, can provide it. 65 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:11,480 If you’re a parent, or plan to be one, it might be more important to your child’s 66 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:07,120 I want to tell you about an essential vitamin you’ve probably never heard of. 67 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,880 growth than all other vitamins combined. 68 00:02:39,739 --> 00:02:45,779 parenting norm, the rates of child and teen depression have skyrocketed.