1
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:25,899
that this is how you had to be,
and you see someone, like moi,

2
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,496
when you were a child,
or someone told you

3
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:20,560
or someone told you
that you couldn't cry

4
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,725
You know, that, like, something
about your gender went wrong,

5
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,519
You know? Like, the only reason
that you would lash out

6
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,855
against a trans person is
because you've been traumatized

7
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,623
on the basis
of your gender, too.

8
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:06,012
you know, when someone,
you know, like, is violent

9
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,337
or who, you know, just,
like, plain straight-up hate,

10
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,950
"Darling,
your trauma is showing."

11
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:07,948
towards trans folks,
I'm just like,

12
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,110
when someone catcalls me
in the street,

13
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,441
and the reason I have empathy
is because it's, like,

14
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:58,905
you know,
gender-nonconforming people,

15
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,068
or who, you know,
stigmatize trans folks,

16
00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:52,766
for people who are
really uncomfortable around me,

17
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:50,363
Yeah. I have a lot
of empathy, actually,

18
00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:43,223
to everything that you
represent as a human being.

19
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,025
Have you ever engaged
with somebody like that,

20
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,994
and have you ever figured out
why people are so against it?

21
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:39,553
why does it affect you?

22
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,354
But there are people
who are vehemently opposed

23
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:38,318
if somebody's not hurting me or
it's not hurting other people,

24
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,315
Because, I mean, in my world,
I've always gone,

25
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,413
and-and so hateful towards it?

26
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:32,079
Why do you think people
are so afraid of it, though,

27
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,743
what else that could look like.

28
00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:28,375
and everyone's opportunity
to explore, um,

29
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,338
And I think it is...
it is everyone's responsibility

30
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,901
where our gender possibilities
are shut down

31
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,836
-from the moment we're children.
-Right.

32
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:16,863
You know, we grow up in a world,

33
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,099
or at least most of us
grow up in a world,

34
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,429
everyone should try out
new things.

35
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:08,188
have a gender that's simple.

36
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:13,427
That's a silly idea.
Um, and more importantly,

37
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,290
I'm like, girl,
no one has a simple gender.

38
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,653
You know, like,
people who aren't transgender

39
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:04,685
is the idea that, like, oh,
cis people have a stable gender.

40
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,581
that the trans movement
has done our messaging

41
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:56,877
Why do you think
that's so important?

42
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:59,346
Well, the... one of the myths,
I think, of the way

43
00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:55,042
-just try it on
and see how it feels. -Yeah.

44
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,069
in clothes that
they wouldn't normally...

45
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,939
a three-piece suit,
regardless of their gender,

46
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:50,871
You said, for instance,
everybody should try on

47
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,734
with their gender, so people
going out there and dressing

48
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:45,265
could help us in society
is if people experimented more

49
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,161
which I found
really interesting.

50
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,063
You said one of the things
that you think

51
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,693
that's something you actually
encourage in the book,

52
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:38,025
-and still stand up?"
-Right. And that's something...

53
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:35,822
"Um, how much
can I put on my body

54
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,953
like, you know, go in
the dress-up bin and are like,

55
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,684
-Yes. -and then some children--
I don't know who--

56
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,849
but, like, watch oth...
they go, you know, color,

57
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,813
And, like, some kids, you know,
don't even play dress-up

58
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,611
I want it to feel like
a dress-up bin, you know?

59
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:22,309
-um, and only the things
that make gender great. -Right.

60
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,305
where there's no patriarchy,
no misogyny,

61
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,470
I want to live in a world where
gender is this playful thing,

62
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,007
none of the things
that make gender suck,

63
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,998
-Yes. -and, like, you know,
shaves their head,

64
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,199
and, like, whatever.

65
00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:13,834
Like, that's not the world
I want to live in.

66
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,196
and everyone wears, like,
grey hoodies and sweatshirts...

67
00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:07,127
where, like, you know,
there's no gender,

68
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,158
And the future I want to live in
is not some future

69
00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:00,921
-we want to build
for trans folks? -Right.

70
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:02,756
Right. What is the future
that I want to live in?

71
00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,486
Like, I want to think about
what is the future

72
00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:57,884
'Cause I don't want
to live in a world...

73
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:56,416
Like, ev... Like, I...

74
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,145
which I didn't realize
was so necessary.

75
00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:55,082
But I'm gender chill, y'all.
You know what I mean?

76
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,544
I feel like I've learned
a new identity for myself,

77
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:46,440
Right. Well, in the process
of writing this book,

78
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,342
and also in the process
of promoting it,

79
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,603
That seems like a...
a controversial thing to say.

80
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,601
to laugh and joke about gender.

81
00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:35,662
to be part of the conversation?

82
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:39,967
Like, they should respect it,
but they should be able

83
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:38,198
Why do you say that people
shouldn't take it as seriously?

84
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,459
-because they've been taught
certain things growing up. -Mm.

85
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,923
And then, for some people, it
just makes them uncomfortable,

86
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,227
Why did you feel
like humor needs

87
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,484
a lot of the time we don't
even know where to begin.

88
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:25,719
-Right.
-Right? Everyone's afraid

89
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,454
of stepping on a landmine
somewhere.

90
00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:16,643
being gay,
being gender non-conforming.

91
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:21,748
it is a difficult topic
to broach, because A:

92
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,645
Because we cannot deny
that in society

93
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:08,368
Like, oops. (laughs)

94
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:11,171
One thing I really enjoyed
about this book was the way

95
00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:14,107
you tackled conversations
in and around being trans,

96
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,499
(applause and cheering)

97
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,430
like, it's the title of my damn
book now, so, sorry."

98
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,760
"if you think you're gonna,
like, tease me with that name,

99
00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:55,889
"Oh, you shouldn't
be like that."

100
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,591
And you just kind of be like,
"Well, I mean,

101
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,521
from people who try to be, like,

102
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,983
You know what I mean?
And-and learning

103
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:52,953
to, uh, kind of, like,
snatch back the power

104
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:48,215
-for myself.
-Mm-hmm.

105
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:39,106
Um, and so, the whole point
of this book for me is

106
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,947
And so, the naming it Sissy is
about reclaiming my childhood

107
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,577
and really not take any part
of it for granted.

108
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,800
as early as I knew
that sissies--

109
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:41,408
to kind of excavate the story
of my gender

110
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:30,631
You know, I didn't know the word
"transgender" when I was a kid.

111
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:27,027
"sissy" was the first word
that I had

112
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,969
people who are gender
different-- was the thing.

113
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,332
-I didn't even know
the word "gay"... -Right.

114
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:25,092
Yeah, well, it's funny,
because in some ways,

115
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,462
to even name my difference.

116
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:21,255
to own these titles
as badges of pride.

117
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,522
What does that mean?

118
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:16,016
gender non-conforming,
etcetera, etcetera.

119
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,118
And yet, in the book,
you talk about how,

120
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:19,887
through self-love,
you've learned

121
00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:13,881
-to describe people
who are queer... -Mm.

122
00:00:09,142 --> 00:00:11,311
because that's a derogatory term
many people have used

123
00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:09,142
that everybody would want
to stay away from,

124
00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:05,305
Let's first talk
about the title.

125
00:00:05,305 --> 00:00:07,374
I mean, 
 Sissy would seem like the title

126
00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:04,037
Sissy:
 A Coming-of-Gender Story. -Mm.

127
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:31,204
(cheering, applause)

128
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,602
Congratulations on your book--

129
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:29,202
with such freedom, and you
don't know how to handle it.